The Lioness
by mcplestreet
Summary: Tom Riddle has grown bored with girls fawning over him, just in time for a chance meeting with a girl who wants nothing to do with him. He's never been so fixated on one girl before, but she isn't like the other girls. Tom Riddle/OC, rated T for sexual themes
1. Chapter 1

**Ultimate Writer Challenge** by **CrimsonWonder**

Write a story about a character you dislike

 **Once Upon A Time Category Challenge** by **TrueBeliever831**

Peter Pan- write about Tom Riddle Jr.

I'm very bad at writing smutty/sexual fics but this idea just came to me. I hope I did an okay job.

I have an idea for a second chapter, which I will write and upload if enough people ask. However I don't have any ideas past that so this story might only have 2 parts

 _Disclaimer_ : I want to reiterate that Tom does not have any sort of emotional connection with her, despite what some parts may sound like. Psychopaths, such as Tom, do not have the capability to feel love or any sort of emotional attachment. However, I believe this is the closest he could come.

* * *

Though he was never quite sure why, Tom Riddle didn't exactly mind the girls that fawned over him. But as much as it didn't bother him, he did wonder why they lost themselves and their sense of self respect when he smiled particularly wide at them. There was a sense of flattery in knowing how little pursuing it would take to acquire one of these girls. They were practically _begging_ him.

But after a few years he found himself growing tired at the lack of a challenge, like a hunter whose prey was too easy to catch. They went weak kneed at his kind words, and pink faced at compliments. And they grew jealous when his affections turned towards someone else, and tried even harder to grab his attention. These girls all but raced each other into his bed. Where was the pursuit? The _hunt_? Tom had never been a fan of romances in the first place, only bothering at all to get to his endgame faster.

He was just beginning to give up on the idea of finding someone who might actually be a challenge. Maybe it was for the best. He was trying to gather a following. If he

wanted to be successful he needed to focus on his goals. He shouldn't be wasting his time with girls and sex like other 16 year old boys. That wouldn't do him any good in the long term.

While walking to his potions class with Abraxas Malfoy, discussing what other students might be a beneficial edition to his new group, which he had recently decided to name Death Eaters. He hadn't been looking where he was going and collided with someone who also wasn't paying attention. Tom looked up just in time to see a girl whose books had just fallen to the group. Icy grey eyes, narrowed in anger, met dark brown ones. The girl bent down to collect her things.

"I'm so sorry." He said, crouching down to pick up a few of the books that had fallen. "Let me help you.

"I think you've done enough." She snapped back, snatching the only book he'd managed to pick up out of his hands. "I've got it covered."

He watched as she scrambled to get all her books in a timely manner. She certainly was a sight for sore eyes. Her hair was dark and curly, falling in her face while her gaze was on the ground. Across her face freckles were scattered like stars forming constellations across her cheeks. And when she stood back up he got a better view of her figure. She was on the shorter side, the top of her head hardly even reaching his chin. Her hips had the perfect curb, and thanks to the skirt she wore high on her waist, it didn't take much imagination to picture her legs.

For a moment he found himself distracted. But as quickly as he'd lost his composure he regained it. "I really am sorry." He told her, "Let me make it up to you."

"I think I'll pass." She said, her nose scrunching up slightly as if the idea disgusted her. "But thank you for the valid excuse for being late to charms."

Just as quickly as she had stumbled into his life she walked away, weaving in between students to get to her class. He knew in that moment that he had to have her, and the fact that she had brushed him off so easily only made him want her more. He couldn't remember ever being preoccupied in class because of a girl. But in potions class, the class he was headed to when they had collided, he made _two_ mistakes on his brew.

After asking around a bit he learned a few things about her. The girls name was Kathleen Morrison. She was a seventh year Gryffindor, with a personality as fiery as the red on her robes. The information he was able to gather on her was limited since he'd only asked his fellow Slytherin's, who hardly ever paid any mind to the Gryffindor students. He considered asking someone from her house, but word that he was asking around about her could have easily gotten back to her, and Tom had a feeling he had to tread carefully when it came to Kathleen.

Since she was in a different house and year it wasn't often that their paths crossed. So when he heard of a party being thrown in the Gryffindor tower he couldn't pass up the opportunity to have a chance to run into her. He hoped hat the combination of the party atmosphere and alcohol in her system would make her a bit more friendly than their last meeting. Then again, it was her disinterest in him that drew him to her in the first place.

Sure enough she was at the party. She wore a blouse, with her sleeves rolled up and the top 3 buttons undone, tucked into a skirt. The red lipstick she wore, plus the heels that made her bare legs look even longer, were a deadly combination. Plus her hair, which was no longer confined to a pony tail, flew wildly around her head like the mane of a lion. She was a beautiful specimen and he wondered how he had missed her for 6 years.

He decided to wait a little while before he approached her. The last thing he wanted was to seem as eager as the girls who so pointlessly pursued him. But like a predator waiting for the right moment to attack, he watched her every move. She was a social butterfly, having smiles for almost everyone who approached her. He wondered if he'd caught her on a bad day, and that maybe she wasn't always so short tempered. A part of him hoped that he was wrong, and that she would still be contempt towards him. It would make the chase even more exciting.

Before he could get the chance to approach her she was by his side as they both got another drink. "Well, look who it is." She said before bringing the cup she had just acquired to her lips. "I don't believe I've ever seen you at a Gryffindor party before."

"I've decided to try something new." He told her, getting a cup of his own. "It's good to see you again."

Her smile was slightly strained and she couldn't hold his gaze for more than a few seconds, her eyes looking back at the party. "I'm sure it is."

So she was just a feisty as he thought she was. Finally, a challenge. Though he did wonder why she was so immune to his charm, unlike the rest of her sex. What about her was different. "I'm sorry we met on such bad terms before. We never got to properly introduce ourselves." He held out his hand for her to shake. "I'm Tom Riddle."

Her grey eyes looked up at him over the top of her cup. "I know who you are." She said simply

"Is that a good or a bad thing?" He asked, putting on the most charming smile he could muster up.

"Depends on who I'm getting my information from." She said, starring at his hand for a few more moments before she reluctantly took it in her own.

"Forgive my curiosity," he said when she took her hand back, "but may I ask what information about me you _have_ gotten?"

Kathleen hesitated to answer his question, biting on her bottom lip gently. "Well," she began, "I've heard that you're a bed hopper and a womanizer, and that you don't actually care about the girls you date."

Her answer was surprising. Though she was right Tom tried very hard to make sure the girls he dated didn't realize how little he truly did care about her. If too many girls heard what she had he would have more trouble getting girls than he may want. "Well maybe you've been getting your information from the wrong people."

She shrugged. "Maybe I'm just getting my information from people who aren't biased."

"How about you inform your own opinion of me instead of blindly listening to others?" He suggested. Tom wondered if she'd asked about him as he had for her. Though it was more likely that she had just hard about him through the grapevine.

"I don't know." She said, taking a sip from her cup. "Would that be a waste of my time?"

He laughed quietly, "I can assure you it wouldn't be."

Kathleen put her hand on his arm and gave him a fleeting smile, one that was almost genuine. "I'll see you around, Tom."

She walked away before he could say another word, once again immersing herself into the party. Kathleen headed straight for a small group of girls, who he assumed were some of her friends. As she talked to them he noticed a few of the girls peeking at him over her shoulder. Tom hoped that he was right in thinking that she had told her friends about their conversation. And he hoped that what she said wasn't as unkind as what others had told her.

xXx

There weren't many opportunities for the two to see each other, but Tom was as determined as ever. Once in awhile he would catch a glimpse of her in the halls, or spot her in the stands at a Quidditch came. Every time he saw her he became even more sure that he had to have her. She was like a rare work of art, one he had somehow missed for six years. Her eyes were enticing, her pouty lips tempting him every time he laid eyes on her. Tom was beginning to become antsy with anticipation for the moment when he could finally have her.

As they usually did, Slytherin house threw a party after the win of a Quidditch game. It wasn't uncommon knowledge that not many students from other houses attended their parties, only a handful daring to take the trip down to the dungeon. Tom considered skipping this party, like he did with most of the others thrown down in the common room. He didn't care much about Quidditch and he had homework to work on. Though maybe he could bring a drink or two up to his room to have once he finished his assignments.

So he headed down to the common room, where music and loud chatter bounced off the walls. The lack of light in the Slytherin common room gave their parties a different feel than those thrown by the rest of the school. Though he wasn't much of a party person he much preferred the ones thrown by his own house. He went down to the common room, grabbing a cup and deciding to stay for just a little while. Tom circled the room, watching students around him drunkenly joking and dancing around.

He spotted her just as she came into the common room, dressed in a blouse tucked into form fitting jeans. Her figure was even easier to see than in her uniform. The curve of her hips drove him wild, and what he could see of her chest through the buttons she left undone made his heart race. When she walked in and through the crowd he couldn't take his eyes off of her. He waited for the right moment to approach her, choosing to make his way over to her one of the few times she was separated from the two friends she came with.

"I don't believe I've ever seen you at a Slytherin party before." He said, mimicking how she had approached him almost a month before at the party in her common room.

She looked over at him, one of her arched eyebrows climbing high on her forehead. "I've decided to try something new." Katherine said, the smallest hint of a smile playing on her lips. "Congratulations on your win today."

"Thank you." He said, "I'm not a big fan of Quidditch, but it certainly was a good game."

Katherine nodded, "My brother is a chaser for Ravenclaw." She said, "He said that sometimes you guys play dirty, but you're still good."

He shrugged, "He's right." Tom turned to face her, "Would you like something to drink?"

She hesitated, looking from his face to the table of drinks. He could tell she had had a drink or two already and figured she was considering if any more was a good idea. After a moment or two passed she looked back at him. "Yeah, sure." She finally said.

Tom put his hand on her back as they walked over to the drinks table, fully expecting her to pull away from him. Though he could feel her tense up she didn't move. The feeling of her body, even if it was just her back with a thin layer of fabric separating his skin from hers, was alluring. He craved more of her, like a starving animal who had just gotten a small taste of what it had lacked for so long. Tom had to remind himself that she wouldn't be as easy to acquire as girls he had before. He would have to be patient, a trait he wasn't known for her. But he knew that the pay off for waiting would be worth it.

He watched her bring a newly acquired cup to her lips, her eyes glancing around the room. When lowered the cup once again her icy eyes found his. "Can I ask you something?" She asked suddenly

"Of course." He answered, "What's on your mind."

One of her hands landed on her hips. "This whole nice guy, gentlemanly thing you have going on." She said, waving her hand in his direction. "Is it all just an act, or is it real?"

"Of course it's real." He said, the lie coming easily. Tom wished that being nice wasn't such an important factor in the equation of successfully socializing. Putting on the act, for six years, was exhausting. Every once in awhile he would slip up, say exactly what was on his mind, which hardly went over well. "Do you think I'm some kind of monster?"

Kathleen starred at him, her eyes flicking around his face. Tom could almost hear the gears turning in her head as she tried to decide if he was lying or not. So he kept his face as straight as possible while her eyes scanned over each of his features. Her brows came together, which he assumed meant she couldn't decide. "I don't thin you're a monster." She said, "I just have a feeling you're not who everyone thinks you are."

"And who do you think I am?" He asked, hoping to draw the conversation away from the opinion of others. She was the one he was interested in at the moment.

She hummed quietly as she thought. "I think you're the kind of person who thinks they can get what they want, no matter what it is."

"I'm prepared to work for what I want." He corrected her, "And hard work usually pays off."

Kathleen rolled her eyes quickly. "I also think that you're convinced your good looks and charisma can get you out of any sticky situation." She said, pointing a finger at him.

Tom chose to latch onto what he hoped was a deeper meaning in her statement. "So you think I'm good looking?"

She scoffed and turned away slightly. Only she didn't turn away enough to hide the blush that rose to her cheeks. That was definitely a good sign. Things seemed to be moving along well, but he still had to overcome the bump of how she perceived him. Unless she was the kind of girl who was attracted to trouble. He'd have to wait to figure that out.

"I know _you_ think you're good looking." She said, a hint of defensiveness in her voice. "And I have a feeling that it's gotten to you're head a bit. And it's not made better by the fact that half of the female population is drooling over you."

"That's not what I asked you." He pointed out.

She pressed her lips together, likely disappointed her response hadn't been enough to distract him from what he really wanted to know. It was going to take much more than that to get one over on him. "Why do you want to know what I think?"

"Can't I be curious?"

Her eyes narrowed at him slightly, "Curiosity killed the cat." She mumbled, bringing her cup back up to her lips and taking a drink. When she realized he was still waiting for an answer she sighed quietly. "You're alright looking, happy?"

He put a hand over his heart, "Only alright? Kathleen, I'm hurt."

One of her eyebrows shot up as her head cocked to the side. "I never told you my name." She said, a small grin beginning to spread on her face.

Shit.

"I think you did."

She shook her head, "No, I didn't." She pointed a finger at him, her smile only growing more. "Have you been asking around about me?"

Tom scoffed, "Of course not. Why would I do that?"

Kathleen crossed her arms, the smug grin on her face seeming to have taken permanent residency. "Maybe because you're prepared to work hard for what you want?" She challenged him.

She was sharp as a pin, and didn't seem to be missing a beat. Tom was thankful for the challenge, which he had been lacking for so long. But not only did she seem to be uninterested in him (which he was determined to change), their conversation was turning into a battle of wits. Though he was confident he could easily outsmart her she did pose a bit of a challenge.

"What is it that you're asking me?"

Kathleen shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "Why are you talking to me?"

Tom shrugged, hoping to appear as nonchalant as possible. "You're interesting." He told her, "Is it a crime to want to get to know a girl?"

"No," she said, "I just think it's a bit more than you just wanting to get to know me."

A smile formed on his face, the most charming one he could muster up. But she hardly seemed affected by it. "Well maybe if you gave me a chance you would find out."

She fell silent, her eyes glancing around the room. She once again bit on her bottom lip as she watched the other partygoers. For a quick moment she opened her mouth to speak, but quickly closed it as a confused expression came over her face. Tom followed her gaze to a girl pressed against the wall with a boy standing close to her, only she didn't seem to be enjoying herself much. "Sorry, I've got to go help my friend." Kathleen said, setting her cup down on the table next to them. "I'll see you around." Without giving him a second glance she darted across the room and quickly pulled her friend away from what could have been a dangerous situation.

Once she left him standing by the drinks he considered staying just in case she decided to talk to him again. But not 10 minutes later he spotted Kathleen with her arm around her friends shoulders ducking through the portrait hole. After that Tom went up to his room, his interest in the party suddenly lost. Though he was glad he had stayed long enough to spot her. He had made some progress with her. If only she hadn't spotted her friend in trouble he could have made even _more_ progress with her, but it was no matter. He had enough time, and he _would_ be successful.

That night, while laying in bed and waiting for sleep to come over him, he found his thoughts wandering into dangerous territory. Though her clothes gave him a taste of what he hoped was yet to come, there was still a lot left to his imagination. And that night his imagination ran wild. He pictured her laying underneath him, clad only in a bra, with her hair fanned out around her. Tom could hear her soft moans in his head, feel her body heat mixing with his. He was surprised with himself at how badly he wanted her. Other than her disinterest in him he couldn't figure out what about her he was so attracted to her.

He didn't see her again until Christmas time. The week leading up to the break every house threw their own party, but he didn't see her at any of those. She was the only reason he showed up to any of them, so when he didn't see her in the first ten minutes he headed back up to his room. When Christmas break came he doubted he would see her again. The fraction of students that stayed at school over break was so small he knew how unlikely it was for her to be one of the twenty or so.

The second day of break Tom decided to do a bit of studying. Though he was fairly caught up on his work it couldn't hurt to complete the work he'd been given early in the break. Perhaps if he had enough time he could work on an extra credit assignment for Slughorn. Tom knew the old man already adored him, but it couldn't hurt to butter him up a bit with an unnecessary research paper. His footsteps bounced off the walls of the near empty hallways so loud someone could have heard him a mile a way. When he got off the staircase and in the same wing as the library he heard someone else's footprints, though it was impossible to tell hoe far away they were.

Just as he passed the History of Magic classroom one of the people he expected to see the least turned the corner. Kathleen's hair was tied up in a complicated bun, loose hairs falling in her face as she tried struggled to fit a book into her tightly backed messenger bag. The tank top that she wore under a zip up sweater hugged her torso tightly and showed off her every curve. When she finally looked up from her book she noticed him, only a few meters away and getting closer. It was hard to read her expression, especially from so far away, but he liked to imagine that she smiled at least a little bit.

"I didn't expect you to be here over break." He said when the two reached each other in the middle of the hallway.

Kathleen shrugged, "Yeah well, I didn't think I would be here either." She admitted, disappointment hiding in her voice. "Something came up at the last minute."

"I'm sorry to hear that." He told her. Though spending the holidays at Hogwarts was nothing new, he imagined it had to be hard for someone who usually spent it with their family. "Do you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head, moving her bag higher on her shoulder. "No, it's fine." She said, "I wouldn't want to bore you."

"It wouldn't bore me." He told her. Admittedly he was curious about her family situation. She mentioned her brother was a chaser, but that was the extent of her knowledge. And any knowledge would be help.

"Well, I'm fine, really." She said. Though he could tell she was lying he still wanted to be in her good graces, and pushing her too hard might be a step in the wrong direction.

"If you want someone to spend Christmas with I don't have anything planned." He offered. Spending Christmas with her might be exactly what he needed.

Kathleen hesitated, thinking the idea over in her head. "I just might take you up on that offer." She said finally, "I have a feeling my brother is spending Christmas with his girlfriend."

"Just let me know." He said, smiling at her. "I would really like to spend some time with you."

"I'm sure you would."

Before he could respond a small leaf, seemingly coming from nowhere, fluttered down between the two. Just before it hit the ground the leaf shriveled up and turned into dust. The two looked up above their heads to see where it had come from. A small mistletoe plant hung from the ceiling a few feet above them, small enough to have been out of sight until then but big enough to not be mistaken for something else.

Perfect.

But when Tom looked back down at her he noticed her face had paled slightly. Kathleen starred up at the mistletoe, wide eyed with her mouth hanging open. "We don't have to, you know." He told her, though he was hoping she would insist. As much as he wanted the feeling of her lips on his own he would be willing to wait a little longer. If they were both spending Christmas at Hogwarts it was likely this wouldn't be their only time under the mistletoe.

But she shoo her head, sliding her bag off her shoulder so it landed on the floor with a soft thud. "No it's fine." She said, the reluctance clear in her voice despite what she was saying. "I heard if you try to avoid them they start following you around the castle."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." She said, taking a step towards him. "Let's just get this over with."

Before he could make any move Kathleen stood on her toes, putting both hands on his face and forcing him to close the distance between them. He closed his eyes just in time for their lips to touch, his hands finding her waist soon after. Even though she was standing on her toes she was still a great deal shorter than him, and he had to bend down slightly to properly reach her.

Her lips were soft and plump on his. He knew he should have taken things slowly to not scare her off, but he _needed_ more of her. Kissing her was just a taste of what he really wanted from her, and he felt as if he was starving. Tom pulled her body closer until it was pressed against his own. He could feel her muscles tensing slightly under his hands at the closeness, but he couldn't bring himself to pull away from her. It took nearly all of his self control to keep from pushing his tongue down her throat. Though she soon began to relax, and he wondered if he should even bother holding himself at all. She was a delectable morsel, like a well made dessert at a high class restaurant, and he wanted seconds.

But before things could heat up any more her lips left his. He opened his eyes to look down at her face, which was now flushed bright pink. She starred up at him before stepping back, her eyes looking away from his own. His cheeks, where her hands had once been moments before, felt cold in her absence. He was surprised at how hard he had to control himself to keep from grabbing her again. Tom wanted all of her, but he knew it would be much more enjoyable if she was comfortable.

"I've, uh, got to meet up with a friend." She said, hardly able to meet his gaze for more than a few seconds. Kathleen quickly started in the other direction, but stopped only a few feet away. She turned towards him, still having trouble looking directly at him. "I'll see you at Christmas." She turned her back on him again and darted down the hallway, turning a corner and disappearing from sight.

xXx

Tom didn't see much of Kathleen in the days leading up until Christmas, though he had a feeling she was making sure of that. His instincts told him that she was embarrassed about the kiss and was trying, and succeeding, to avoid him. But with each day that passed, and without the distraction of classes and schoolwork deadlines, he found himself thinking about him more and more. His fascination with the Gryffindor girl had turned into somewhat of an obsession. He remembered something a muggle counselor said back at the orphanage when talking about drugs; "it only takes one time to get hooked." He wondered if a person could act as a drug.

Kathleen was doing such a good job of avoiding him that he wondered if she was still planning on spending Christmas. She wasn't the first to pull back after first contact. It wasn't unlikely for girls, and had happened to him more than once. But he never quite understood why they did it. He reminded himself that part of why he was so fixated on her was because she wasn't like the other girls he'd been with in the past, and hoped that this would be another way that she was different from them.

Christmas Day came and he still found himself wondering if she would show up at all. His questions were answered when a small folded up note, charmed into a flying paper airplane, soared into his room and landed just in front of him on his bed. Tom set aside the homework he had been working on and opened up the small note.

 _come to the portrait hole, I don't know the password._

He jumped out of bed, practically running down the stairs to get to the portrait hole. The note wasn't signed, but there was no doubt in his mind who it was from. No one else from another house had made any arrangements to come to see him. And since the two hadn't seen each other since they kissed he never got the chance to tell her the password. He hadn't expected her to show up, but he was excited that she had.

Tom opened the portrait hole, and sure enough there she was. Though her clothing wasn't as revealing as he had seen before, the collar of the sweater she wore reaching all the way up to her collarbones, she still looked nice. He only wished she had chosen not to confine her hair into a bun. She looked much nicer with it falling down her shoulders.

"I didn't think that you would come." He said, choosing to voice what was really on his mind. Tom usually wasn't as blunt as his thoughts were but he was thoroughly surprised.

Kathleen ducked into the common room, immediately taking note that besides the two of them it was empty. After a quick scan of the room her eyes found his. "Why wouldn't I?"

Tom shrugged, starting towards one of the couches, "I just haven't seen you in awhile."

She sat down next to him when they reached the middle of the room, leaving several inches of space between them. "It looks a lot different in here without so many people." She said, choosing to ignore what he had said before.

"I much prefer it this way." He said, "It makes the room feel bigger."

"That it does."

He could sense her slight discomfort and mulled over the various ways he could try and make her a bit more at ease. While the fact that she had shown up was a good sign the fact that she was feeling so unsettled was still an obstacle he needed to overcome. She needed to feel comfortable around him in order for him to make as much progress as possible.

"Would you like something to drink?" He asked, figuring it would be best to keep the conversation light.

She nodded, her eyes finding the kettle that sat on a table nearby. "Yes, thank you."

After setting the kettle over the fireplace, and two flicks of his wand, it filled up with water and was beginning to heat up. Only a minute or two later he poured the hot water into two mugs and dropped tea bags int them. It had been years ago that the Slytherins decided that going all the way from the dungeon to the kitchen to get the supplies they needed for a simple cup of tea was too much work, and had started gathering what they needed and keeping it in the common room. It had been one of the best decisions made by the entire house since he had been in school.

He sat back down next to her, both with a warm mug in their hands. "So, tell me about your family. I get the impression that you're close to them." He said, watching as she blew into her cup.

"Oh, they're not really that interesting." She said, waving one of her hands. "I'm sure it would bore you."

"Why don't you try me?"

Kathleen sighed, "Alright." She said, taking a sip before setting her cup in her lap. "Well, I'm close with my dad, but he's recently moved to Manchester. Which, isn't exactly close to where the rest of the family is."

Tom frowned, "I'm sorry to hear that."

"Don't be." She said, shaking her head. "Um… I live with my brother, he's in his fifth year, and my mum and her boyfriend."

"You're parents are separated?"

She nodded, taking another sip from her mug. "Yeah, for awhile. Dad's been out of the house for years but he was still local."

He wondered why on earth he would find what she was saying boring. Though she was only letting him see a glimpse of her family dynamic, he could tell it was just the tip of the iceberg by the tone of her voice. Other peoples family private life, had always fascinated him. Though he wasn't a hundred percent sure why he had a feeling it was due to a lack of family of his own.

Then again, he didn't really think about it that much.

"That must be rough." He said, making an effort to put as much sympathy in his voice. But the way she simply shrugged gabs him the impression that it didn't bother her that much. It was common knowledge that humans often denied it when something upset them, not wanting to appear weak. However she seemed to be telling the truth.

"It's more annoying than anything." She said, "My mum cancelled Christmas because her boyfriend surprised her with tickets to Spain. There were only two tickets."

He raised an eyebrow at her, "And that didn't bother you?" He asked. If he was in her position, and felt emotions the same way she did, he would have definitely been upset about something like that. Wasn't Christmas supposed to be a sentimental holiday, or had he missed out on something?

"Yeah." She admitted, "But honestly I'd rather spend Christmas here than with Craig." Kathleen took a sip from her mug, then quickly added "That's the boyfriend."

She fascinated him more and more by the second. Even he, someone who's brain wasn't wired like everyone else's, would have been angry if something like that happened to him. But Kathleen seemed to just brush it off her shoulder and keep moving. Even as she talked about it she was perfectly calm, as if they were discussing something as mundane as the weather and not how her mother had cancelled Christmas.

"It really doesn't bother you."

A small smile spread on her face, "You get used to the feeling of being less important."

Hearing these words coming from her mouth was definitely a shock. Everything she did, the way she walked and spoke, even how she held herself, was done with such significance. Kathleen radiated confidence. Every move she made and word that came from her mouth had purpose. She just presented herself as someone who knew just how important she was. Such confidence wasn't common in girls her age, which was just another thing that made her so appealing. To hear her break down that illusion put a genuine frown on his face.

"You're not unimportant." He said. From his observation of two nights alone it was clear people valued her. At the party he went to in the Gryffindor tower he noticed how she was unable to walk a few feet without someone stopping her to say hello. She was popular amongst the students, always wearing a kind smile when someone greeted her. Unless of course it was him greeting her.

Kathleen's eyes fell to the cup in her hand. "Well, thank you." She said, "But not everyone would agree with you."

He remembered when she questioned him about the gentlemanly facade back at the Slytherin party, and how surprised he had been that someone had started to catch onto him. Perhaps it was because she was an expert of putting up a front. And now, for the first time since they'd first run into each other in the halls her confident exterior faded away, but only for a moment. She tore her eyes away from her mug to look at him and for a fleeting second the hurt she was clearly hiding snuck through. She was vulnerable. And then he realized

She was vulnerable.

It was the perfect opportunity for him to make an advance towards her. Humans sought comfort when they felt upset, comfort often including physical contact. Though she pretended not to be, it was clear enough to him that she was hurting down under the freckled surface. If his instincts were right it could be the perfect moment.

Tom reached out and room her hand in his. Her was small in comparison, warm and smooth against his skin. Along with a light layer of freckles across the back of her hand there was a birthmark, just under one of her knuckles. She didn't pull away from him or even tense up, but her gaze once again fell to her lap. He waited for any sign of uncertainty or discomfort, but none came. As opposed to her usual big personality and sharp tongue, she was quiet and coy. This side of her was new, something he definitely wasn't used to, but it was one he didn't quite mind.

They were sitting close enough that there was hardly room between them that needed to be closed. He would hardly need to lean towards her if he were to kiss her. And oh did he want to. The thought that his room, a spot even more private than where they already were, made his heart pick up it's pace. The trip up the stairs would be short, she just needed a small nudge in that direction.

The longer she went without shying away from him the harder it was to keep himself away from her, to the point where there was no convincing himself not to. When would a better opportunity come? He couldn't imagine one in his mind, so he doubted one would just come along. With the thought that she might once again avoid him after she left the common room, putting his progress back even further, he leaned in the short distance between them and pressed his lips against hers for the second time that week.

The shyness he had last time they had kissed seemed to be gone. With nearly no hesitation her hands reached up to him, one pressing on his cheek while the other rested on the back of his neck. Her lips were soften than he remembered them to be, and felt even better moving against his own. The seconds ticked by and she made no move to stop him, which only served as encouragement to him. He was becoming more and more convinced she would be his by the end of the night.

Seconds turned into a minute, and one into two. The two moved as if they were preforming a perfectly reversed dance. He anticipated each of her moved, ever flick of her tongue and shift of her hands, and she did the same with him. His hands moved up and down her sides, territory he had yet to explore. Even when his hand came to rest on her thigh, her skin burning red hot against his, she didn't try to stop him. The feeling of her body pressed so closely against his, her legs practically draped across his lap, drove him mad with desire unlike anything he had felt in a long time.

It wasn't clear who first stood up. One moment they were sitting, the room around them disappearing until there was no world beyond the measures of the couch, and the next they were on their feet. Tom took her hand and pulled her towards the staircase, making sure to not look back at her. He wanted to avoid anything that might create any about in her mind. If he moved too slowly, even for a second, she could shut the whole situation down. He was practically running up the stairs. That is until he heard her stumble on one of the steps and was forced to slow down.

Once they were in his dorm he didn't waste any time, shutting the door behind him and quickly resuming the kiss they had paused downstairs. His hands rested on her waist, holding her close to his own body. Her arms wrapped around his neck, forcing him to lean down enough that she didn't have to stand on her toes. Holding her so close to him, and kissing her with such intensity, made his pulse pound in his ears. But he wanted more. The temptation to not push her down onto his bed, which only stood a few feet away, was powerful. Almost too powerful to resist. But he managed to hold out for a little longer.

His teeth ran against her bottom lip while his hands inched towards the hem of her blouse. Tom was glad she's left her shirt untucked from her skirt, both of which she was confident would be on the floor in a matter of minutes. It made his job easier. He kissed her harder, his fingertips sliding under the bottom of her shirt and onto her bare back. Both made her breath come out louder. Not quite a moan, but not far off either. His hands explored the skin of her back, while hers got tangled in his hair.

He felt her hands, soft and warm and everything he wasn't, running down his neck and to his chest. Her fingers wrapped around his tie, pulling him with her as she started taking steps backwards towards his bed. She stumbled, unsure of where she was going and unable to look, and she almost fell over when the back of her legs hit the mattress. Her lips broke away from his as she sat down. With her hands still holding onto his tie she pulled him once more

Kathleen leaned until she lay on her back, while his knees rested on either side of her hips. Their lips connected once more while he began tugging her shirt up higher and higher. Just as he reached her ribs she pushed his hands away, undoing the buttons that kept her hidden from him herself. Tom decided to let her think she was in control for a few minutes, abiding by her silent orders. While her nimble fingers worked his lips moved from hers down to her chin, then even lower until he kissed her neck. She squirmed ever so slightly as he softly bit on a spot just above her collarbone.

She sat up just enough to yank her shirt off of her arms and toss it to the side. Before she laid back down he hooked his finger in her hair tie and pulled until her hair fell down, a tornado of dark curls finally released. Instead of kissing her again when she was on her back once more he took the opportunity to examine her. While not as heavily freckled as her face, spots of pigment exploded like landmines along her torso. She looked as though she were designed by an experienced artist, each and every curve of her body planned out in advanced to create the perfect masterpiece. Kathleen was the prettiest girl he'd had laying beneath him, and he once again wondered how she had flown under his radar for so long.

When he kissed her again her hands got to work undoing both the tie and vest he wore over a button up shirt. Her hands were like heaven while he was hell. The two were so different. Yet when put together there wasn't much different between them. It was clear she wanted power and control in the situation. But he knew that ultimately he would overpower her with ease.

He heard to _thuds_ as her shoes hit the floor, another barrier between them gone. His hands traveled up her thighs until they were under her skirt. Under his fingertips he could feel the small indentation of stretch marks as his hands climbed higher and higher. He read a poem once comparing a women stretch marks to lightning, and he wanted her thunderstorm. The more of her body he discovered, the more convinced he became that she was perfect. At least physically speaking, which was the only thing he truly cared about.

Her fingers started to fumble with the buttons of his shirt as he kissed lower and lower on her body. Though she tried to contain them several moans escaped her lips. The sound was soft and delicate, and only made him kiss her harder. Tom never understood why girls tried to hide how aroused they got. He wanted her to be as direct as she had always been. The fact that she was being so shy about it made him wonder how many boys had been intimate with her before him.

As her hands reached halfway down his stomach Tom flipped them over, so she was now on top of him. He stayed sitting up so he could still kiss her and helped her undo the rest of the buttons on his shirt. Her hands pushed the fabric off his shoulders, then ran along his torso. Their body heat mixed together into a perfect concoction of hormones and lust. Tom kicked off his own shoes, yet another layer gone. Her nails started to dig into his back while his hands explored under her skirt. As his hands traveled higher and higher she shifted ever so slightly. The friction, despite how little movement she had made, drove him mad with desire and left him wanting more. He unzipped her skirt and with some difficulty, and her assistance, it fell to the floor with the rest of their clothes.

With so little separating them she was having more and more difficulty containing herself. She bit down on her lower lip while his hands moved over what little fabric she had on. His hands moved to her back, unhooking her bra and sending it off to the floor, another item out of their way. While he wasn't a fan of commitment to just one girl he wondered if he could be with another after Kathleen. Could any compare to her? Would he ever have the same attraction to another? He'd never been so fixated on someone before, never wanted someone so badly. And it was hard to imagine he would again.

They switched once more so she lay on her back again, her hair creating a curly halo around her head. He kissed every inch of her torso until her hands pulled at him, silently willing him to come back up to where she could reach him. Their lips crashed together, both hungry and eager for what they knew was soon to come. Her legs wrapped around his waist, keeping him locked in place. As if he was planning on going somewhere.

Her hands ran along his torso, sliding lower and lower each time. The feeling of her fingertips on his skin sent a shiver down his spine. Kathleen finally reached the hem of his pants, undoing the button with much more ease than she had experienced with those on his shirt. She tugged them down, but could only get them off so much before he did the rest of the work. A small moan escaped her lips while his mouth once again began exploring her neck and chest.

Tom took of the last two remaining clothes they had on, his hands running along her body now that she was fully exposed. Her cheeks had turned pink from her increased body heat and her grey eyes were filtered with lust. She let out a small yelp when he pushed himself inside her, her fists tightly grabbing onto his bed sheets. The sound of her moans, which she seemed to have given up on trying to contain, filled the room and likely reached the hall outside. Kathleen writhed in pleasure underneath him. Tom knew that as much as she had resisted him in the beginning, and that she might continue to once she walked out the door, that he had won their battle of wills.

If only for a moment she was completely his.


	2. Chapter 2

This chapter is a lot shorter than the first, oops. But I definitely wasn't to end this story. I'm also thinking of adding an epilogue when Tom Riddle has completely transformed into Lord Voldemort and the two meet again. Would anyone be interested?

While I tried to make it pretty clear in the story I want to once again reiterate that Tom cannot feel real love, but I wanted to write about him feeling something as close to love as he can feel. Enjoy what I hope is a realistic depiction of Tom in an affectionate relationship!

* * *

By the end of February they had begin to develop a routine. During the week they saw less of each other, with homework and Tom's prefect duties getting in the way. Not only that but the two had spent nearly every Saturday night together since Christmas, sometimes waiting until past midnight to part ways. They eventually decided it was better for him to come to her room since he would be in much less trouble if he was caught out of bed after hours. Some nights he was in her dorm so late that they both decided it would be easier if he just spent the night.

He wasn't sure when things between them started to change. For the first few weeks they simply exchanged body heat and went their separate ways. When they passed one another in the halls they didn't utter a word to one another. Her cheeks would turn pink when her eyes met his on her way to class, and her gaze would quickly drop to the floor. For only an hour or so a week she was his only behind his closed bedroom door, that is until they started going to her dormitory.

It was d ifficult for him to put his finger on the day when things started to shift gears. He remembered once, while on his way down to potions class, she waved at him as they passed one another. She was with a small group of friends, who she had told him a little bit about. Tom caught a glimpse of the confused looks she received just before they were out of sight. Only a week or two later at lunch she walked from the Gryffindor table right over to the Slytherins to give him one of his school books he had left in her room. Needless to say his friends were shocked.

Though there was no doubt in his mind that her friends eventually found out about them he often wondered if she told them or if they figured it out on their own. They had seen him in their dorm several times, but made a point to never mention it. And despite what little she had said about them, she never once said they were stupid. Once he started spending the night in her room ever so often he knew that there was no way they could be so oblivious.

Tom was an early riser, while she preferred to sleep in, so he was usually up before her. It usually took another half hour, sometimes even more for her to wake up. But he didn't mind. Usually her roommates were already down at breakfast, or were getting ready to leave. Her room wasn't nearly as quiet as his own, the Slytherin dorms being in the middle of the Black Lake. Outside her window he could hear birds chirping, both close and far away. Other than that the only sound was her soft breathing while she still slept.

But on what he thought would be a regular Sunday morning, just says before the beginning of March, something changed. He rolled onto his side, ready to be greeted by her sleeping face, but opened his eyes only to find an empty bed. Tom sat up a bit and looked around the room, finding her standing by her dresser and the mirror above it. She struggled to get her hair into a bun, especially with the bed head that made it even more out of control than usual. Kathleen spotted him, now awake, in the reflection of the mirror.

"Morning." She said simply. Her greeting was so casual, and so seemingly out of the ordinary.

But he could tell something was off. He had learned enough about her to know that something was bothering her, and her bod language only confirmed it. She kept her back to him, and he was sure that her shoulders were tense. Tom couldn't quite put into words how he knew so surely that something was bothering her. He just _knew_.

"Is everything okay?" He asked hesitantly. Almost a month before, when her hormones had reached their monthly peak, she began snapping at him harsher and more often than usual. The one time he dared to address it she stormed out and avoided him for the rest of the week. He feared that questioning her mood shift would stir the pot.

But there was no outburst. She didn't lash out and walk away. Kathleen didn't even turn to face him. So he assumed his theory of her hormones being the catalyst had been wrong. She finished tying her hair up in a knot before she turned towards him, the expression on her face one he had never seen her wear before. After a moment or two of silence she simps shrugged and crossed her arms.

"Would you like to talk about it?" Though he wasn't the best shoulder to cry on he could tell that whatever was on her mind was bothering her. And if listening was all he had to do to improve her mood, it was a small sacrifice.

She thought for a moment, her teeth gently biting on her lower lip. Coming to a decision she let a small sigh. "Do you like me, Tom?"

Despite the seriousness of her question he couldn't help but laugh. "Do you think I would spend all this time with you if I weren't fond of you?"

"I didn't ask you if you were fond of me." She said, the irritation at his laughter clear in her tone. "I asked you if you like me. If you fancy me."

"Oh." Though he knew the say when she would question his feelings would come, he never thought much of it. Emotions were complicated, and the little he experienced were difficult enough. But he had an inkling of what she wanted to hear. And he was fond of her enough that he preferred when she was happy. "Yeah, of course."

Kathleen pursed her lips slightly, "Don't lie to me." She said, walking over to the bed. "There's really no point. i'm not going to be upset if you say no. So just tell me the truth."

The chance that she was just saying that to hear the truth was high, but he still found himself considering changing his answer. But as he began to think abut it he realized he didn't exactly know what his answer was. He didn't think he could ever truly _love_ another person. Though from how he had heard others describe what love felt like he couldn't help but notice some similarities in how he felt for Kathleen. It was perhaps the closest he could come to love. He wasn't sure when their relationship became something more than just rolling around in bed on the weekends. It was as if he woke up one morning and things were just different.

Nearly everything Tom did he did because it would benefit himself. But when he did something he knew would make her happy he did it for no other reason. He enjoyed seeing her smile, and liked when he was the reason for her happiness. The only things he could remember doing without selfishness were things he had done for her.

Was that love? Or at least as much of it as he could feel? Tom never got butterflies around her lie most people did with their partners. But he had been with her exclusively for almost 3 months at that point, longer than he had been with any other girl by a long shot. He had yet to get sick of her, which was the most surprising part about their relationship. Thinking about her wth any other boy made him jealousy fester like a parasite in his chest. Most of the signs said he fancied her. But the word didn't quite fit. No word in his vocabulary was sufficient in describing how he felt about Kathleen, which was thoroughly frustrating.

Tom looked up at her, dressed in a pair of shorts and a sweater he had leant her a month back when she had forgotten her own during a Hogsmead trip. It was clear she intended to keep it. "Do you fancy me?" He asked, wanting to hear her answer more than he wanted to say his own.

"I'll tell you after you tell me." She said, her hands landing on her hips. Even moments after waking up she was still a sight. He felt the urge to kiss her, but remembered that she hardly ever let him before she brushed her teeth.

There were a million things he would have preferred to discuss, but he knew how stubborn she could be. She wasn't going to let the topic drop easily. Tom sighed and swung his legs over the side of her bed so he could face her. "I don't know." He said, the honesty of his words tasting odd in his mouth. It wasn't often he told the whole truth. "I like spending time with you. And I like seeing you happy. But I just don't know." He watched her study his face, trying to gauge if he was once again lying. "Do you fancy me?"

"I could. If I let myself." She said, sitting down next to him. Though she kept a bit of distance between them he could still feel the same sort of magnetic pull she gave off whenever she came close to him. "But I'm not going to."

"Why not?"

Kathleen hesitated a moment, "I've seen girls fall for someone and get hurt." She said, "And I've seen girls who've fallen for you and gotten hurt. I don't want to be one of them."

"Do you think I would hurt you?" He asked. Out of all the people he had and would hurt he didn't think she would ever make the list.

She shook her head, a loose hair falling next to her face. "Maybe not on purpose." She said, "But you could. Badly. I just won't make it easy."

"I thought most people wanted to fall in love?" Every so often she would say something that made no sense. It was just another thing that made her different from everyone else. But that was what he had noticed about her in the first place. "I thought one of the main goals in life was to fall in love and be happy."

Kathleen shrugged her shoulders, the sweater she had taken from him loosely hanging off her body. "I am happy." She said, reaching towards him and grabbing his hand. "Isn't that enough."

Tom looked down at their hands, her fingers intertwined with his own. He enjoyed the way things were going, exactly the way they were. It was casual, and still exciting after so long. He was content with her, and was just as smitten with her as the day they'd met. Every move she made was intoxicating to him. She was far more magnificent than any beast he's studied in Care of Magical Creatures. And she was certainly magical too.

He was happy. It wasn't an emotion he was used to. But it was one he had no problem with.

Tom squeezed her hand gently, leaned forward, and pressed a kiss on the side of her head. "It's enough." He told her


	3. Chapter 3

real talk; I'm the queen of updating stories I thought I had finished because at this point my writers block is so bad I'm just writing anything I can right now. who knows, maybe I'll make this an ongoing fic?

also I didn't proofread this. oops.

For the millionth time I want to clarify Tom cannot feel love and this isn't necessarily a healthy relationship.

* * *

The Hogwarts express rolled to a slow stop and Tom felt the disappointment he'd been trying to repress once again bubble up to the surface. He looked over at Kathleen, who stared out the window and wore an unreadable expression. About a month back they had joked about finding every private spot on the Hogwarts express and making out for at least five minutes in each one. Instead they had sat in a compartment by themselves and slowly suffocated in the heavy tension that preceded their goodbye.

Over the Christmas break of their seventh year they had used letters to keep in touch, but it hadn't been the same. Her jokes still made him laugh but the best part of her humor was the tone in her delivery. And he was unable to feel the hazardous electricity that buzzed through his body whenever she was near with simple written words. Letters would be enough but he wanted _more_.

They could hear the sound of other students getting out of their compartments and heading onto the platform yet neither made any move to leave. Tom turned towards her in the seat they shared, wrapping his hand around hers. "We should do it." He said, blurting out a thought that had been stuck with him the whole ride.

She peeled her eyes away from the window to look at him. Around her neck hung the necklace he'd bought her for her birthday back in May that she had worn every day since (which had admittedly surprised him since she repeatedly told him in the upcoming weeks that she didn't want him to get her anything). Curly hairs escaped her messy bun and framed her freckled face. "Do what?" she asked, a shallow crease settling in her forehead.

"Go away somewhere for a while this summer, just you and me." He said, referring to a talk they'd had in the early hours of the morning a few days prior. "We could rent a cottage for a week. No parents."

Kathleen, who had opened up to him about her family life more and more in the months they had been seeing one another, spread her lips into a smile. "You don't think you'd get sick of me?"

"No." he answered honestly.

Three months into their relationship he had thought he was the closets he could get to loving her. Seven months later and he was dangerously close to the edge. Kathleen was such an important part of his life that he couldn't imagine being without her. She made him want to feel things the way normal people did. She made him want to love her, and he knew if he could he would be utterly mad for her. He just couldn't.

Which didn't necessarily mean he didn't _like_ her. Kathleen was his favorite person that he knew. She was someone he wanted to protect and who he missed when he lay alone in his bed at night. Standing next to her made him feel like he could conquer the world. He wanted to be the best version of Tom Riddle he could be so she would never want to leave him.

As she had once said; wasn't that enough? He thought it was.

"Who's picking you up from the platform?" he asked when she glanced back out the window.

"Mom. And Craig." She answered flatly before looking back at him. The mere mention of her mother and now step father had the power to change her from the confident woman who strutted the halls to the insecure little girl she was when it was the two of them in private. "You don't have to meet them if you don't want to."

Tom had a blatant dislike for her parents without ever meeting them. He'd heard enough from Kathleen to know they were people he didn't like. But he shook his head. "No, I'll meet them. Don't they want to meet the guy you've been writing home about for so long."

She snorted at his lame joke. They both knew she was too scared to say much about him to her parents. "Play nice with Craig, okay?" she asked as she stood up and reached for her luggage in the overhead rack. "I don't need him banning you from the house."

"You think I can't behave myself when I want to?" he asked as he reached his own luggage.

"No."

Her hand once again found his as they walked off the train and onto the platform. All around them their peers were giving their goodbye for the summer and reuniting with family members. Tom watched Kathleen as she searched the crowd for her own family. He had all the time in the world to say goodbye to her since he was taking the bus home. A look of unhappy recognition passed over her face before she pulled him through the crowd.

He spotted Kathleen's mom well before they reached her. She had the same mane of fire on her head as her daughter and sprayed freckles across her face. But the expression she wore, like she had just popped a lemon in her mouth, was one Kathleen had never adorned. Next to her stood a tall and wiry man with buzzed hair and an equally unpleasant look. They stopped their conversation when Kathleen and her mother gave her the most pathetic excuse for a hug Tom had ever seen. It made him want to give Kathleen a better and well deserved one.

Craig was the first to notice his presence. "And who is this young man?" he asked in a voice as sour as pickle juice. There couldn't be a more unfitting pair of people to take on the role of Kathleen's parents.

When she glanced at him Tom could read the anxiety in her face as easily as a book. "This is Tom." She said when she once again addressed her parents. "I've told you about him."

Her mother's eyes did a once over of him. "Your letters gave the impression that things between you weren't so… serious."

"I'm not a very good writer."

Tom struggled to keep a laugh inside him. He instead extended his hand towards her mother first before, reluctantly, doing the same to Craig. "It's nice to finally meet you." He said. "Kathleen has told me lots about you." Which wasn't exactly a lie.

Her mother flashed him the fakest smile he'd ever seen. "We'll let you two say goodbye then." She told her. "The car is parked in the first row on the left, your brother's already out there."

Kathleen returned to his side as they began to walk away, leaving a sour taste in his mouth. He let go of his luggage and held onto both her arms. "Let's go somewhere tonight. No, right now."

"Tom." She began, her tone in the one word clear how ridiculous she thought he sounded.

"I mean it, Kathleen. I don't want you going back with them."

She rolled her eyes at him. "I'll be fine, Tom. I've been living with them for years. I know how to do it."

"If you don't want to go with me just tell me." He said, only half joking.

"Stop that." Kathleen placed her hands over his, her fingers lacing between his and fitting as perfectly as two puzzle pieces. "I would love nothing more than to run away with you right now. But you know I can't. We have to be practical."

He sighed, some of his confidence in his plan deflating. She was right. She was right most of the time, which was fine since they often agreed on things. "Alright, fine. Not right now." He said. "I'm legally allowed to stay in the Orphanage until my eighteenth birthday. I'll spend the next few months saving up for an apartment for us. We can live anywhere you want. Just you and me. You don't ever have to see them again."

"But what about John?" she asked, her worry for her younger brother not surprising him.

"He can come too if that's what you need."

She bit on her lower lip, her eyes darting down to the floor between their feet. Tom wanted to reach into her chest and take out every unpleasant memory she'd had of her parents over the years. He wanted to make her as happy as she deserved to be. And he feared he wasn't enough to get her there.

When she looked back up at him her expression was once again unreadable. "Okay." She said, a flicker of a smile on her face. "Okay, let's do it. I'll try to find a job too."

A wide grin overtook his face and he quickly pulled her against his chest. Suddenly his plans for establishing a more powerful following for the Death Eaters was on the back burner. That could wait. The followers he already had believed in him enough that they wouldn't mind their plans being put on hold. But making Kathleen happy couldn't wait. How was he supposed to focus on his agenda when he was so worried about her?

"When can I see you next?" she asked, her voice muffled in his chest.

"Whenever you want."

She looked up at him, her chin resting on his upper abdomen. "Promise me you'll call me on the phone? Letters won't do. I want to hear your voice."

"I promise." He said. "Promise me you'll send me a picture of you in one of your letters? I don't have any of you."

"Only if you'll do the same."

Tom smiled once more and placed a kiss on her forehead. By then the platform had cleared out enough that if he looked really hard at her he could pretend it was just the two of them. He wished they could walk back onto the train and say goodbye in a compartment where the stares of other people wouldn't bore their way into the back of his head.

"Something's happened, Tom." Kathleen said quietly. "Something scary."

"What is it?"

She squeezed her eyes shut tight for a moment, her grip around his waist pulling him closer to her. "I've fallen in love with you."

Tom had read in a book once that no two people experienced love in the same way. It had made him feel better about his own feelings for Kathleen. She was so important to him that it scared him. Few people in the world had the ability to hurt him but he knew that she could completely shatter him in a moment if she wanted to. Kathleen knew almost every nook and cranny of his soul and had found an empty spot to make herself at home in. She was a part of him he never wanted to be without. He had never thought he could have respect for a half blood but he knew they were equals. In some ways she was definitely better than him.

Could it be possible that he loved her? In his own sort of way. It sure as hell felt like it sometimes. One of those times was standing on the platform while they avoided saying goodbye. She had once told him she wasn't going to let herself fall for him. Whether she ahd given into temptation or fallen despite her resistance he wasn't sure. Either way he admired her for being so open about her feelings, which he knew was difficult for her.

Love may not have been the right word. But he didn't know one that worked better. So he tucked one of her loose hairs behind her ear and said what he never thought he'd ever say to another person. "I love you too."

A smile bright enough to light up the whole train station broke out on her face, which he was only able to see for a second before she stood on her toes and crashed her lips against his. He wanted more than anything to take her somewhere right then and there but she had a point. What would be the point in running off if they couldn't sustain themselves well enough. He would have to endure the distance between them for the next couple months.

After separating herself from him she picked up her luggage, the skin behind her freckles tinted red. "You have the number I gave you?" she asked

Tom pulled the scrap of parchment with her phone number written on it out of his pocket. "Got it." He said. "Can I call you tonight?"

"Well I was expecting you would."

She squeezed his hand one last time before heading for the disappearing wall and leaving his sight. Tom hung back and said some last words with a few of his peers/followers. They anxiously awaited what would happen next now that most of them were out of school. He knew he would do his best to get a job and save up as much money as he could while also furthering his agenda. But he knew, for the time being at least, what took precedent of his attention.

He caught the train back to the orphanage and unpacked his things in his small room. Everything he took out of luggage reminded him of Kathleen. The ties she always straightened when she just wanted to touch him. The sweatshirts she had borrowed from him on and off throughout the school year. His schoolbooks she had slipped notes into when he wasn't looking. Tom had once looked down on people who became so wrapped up in their partners. He now understood.

xXx

Tom sat at a table in the Leaky Cauldron with Lestrange and Avery, waiting for the conversation to take the turn he knew it would. In the letters they had sent him preceding the one suggesting the three of them meet the had persistently urged him to stay focused on his work as they had. Avery had gotten a job at Gringotts and had been trying to recruit more members and Lestrange had been telling the members of his pureblood family about what they had planned. Every time they asked Tom what he'd been doing in the first month and a half of summer he avoided the question as much as possible.

The truth was that he'd started a job at the Daily Prophet and had been putting around half of his paycheck into a savings account. Every week he and Kathleen told one another how much they had saved and how much longer it would take for them to afford a small place to live in London. She had been selling some of her less needed valuables while she looked for a job herself. It didn't come as a surprise that she, a woman, found it harder to find work than him, a man.

Tom had been thinking less and less about the mission of the Death Eaters as he saved up more and more money. Kathleen had been talking less and less about her parents in letters and phone calls and more and more about how much she missed him. He couldn't help. Ut wonder if things at home for her had gotten worse and she was holding back detail to spare him. He hoped it was simply because nothing worthy of note had happened.

Suddenly Avery and Lestrange exchanged a _look_ and the air around them changed. It became heavier and more tense. Tom brought his drink to his lips and waited for them to break the short lived silence.

It had been Avery. "Tom, how are things with Kathleen?" he asked.

"Good." He answered shortly. "Fine."

"With all due respect," Lestrange continued, "don't you think you've been a bit… distracted lately? That romance has suddenly become more important?"

Tom shrugged his shoulders. "So what if it has?"

"If you're still committed to the plan your relationship may cloud your judgement."

Tom had thought about what he would say to such a question for a few weeks. Maybe his judgement was being clouded. Maybe he shouldn't have been so focused on Kathleen. But he couldn't think of many valid reasons why. It wasn't as if he was disbanding the Death Eaters and putting their plans to rest. They were being put on the back burner until he had nothing else to worry about. Once Kathleen was safe and with him he would be able to be fully devoted to being a leader.

He wasn't sure if the truth would be sufficient enough to get them off his back. Embellishment was never an issue for him. He just sometimes wished he didn't have to go through the trouble. Tom set his drink down on the wooden table and leaned towards Avery and Lestrange, lowering his voice slightly. "Don't you two see what I'm doing?" he asked, feigning shock at their cluelessness. "I'm trying to recruit Kathleen."

Avery turned up his nose slightly. "Recruit a half blood? That goes against everything we believe."

Tom had to bite his tongue to keep from snapping at Avery. "A half blood by technicality. Both her parents are wizards but her mother is a mudblood."

"So?"

He rolled his eyes but managed to keep his tone under control. "An imperfect heritage is a small sacrifice compared to everything else she has to offer." He told them. "If she joins us she'll be able to recruit people from other houses. So far we only have Slytherin's."

Lestrange and Avery shared another look. "And that's a bad thing?"

"There's strength in numbers." Tom replied. "How much will we be able to grow if we stay within our own house?" he let them sit with the thought for a moment before he continued. "Besides, Kathleen is personable. She's much better at talking to people than most of us." He was the one exception to that statement.

Avery leaned back in his chair, not looking entirely convinced. "Do you really think she'll join?" he asked skeptically.

"Have you seen how in love with me she is?"

When Tom left the bar to go back to the orphanage he felt a sick feeling settle in his stomach. It hadn't been the first time he told a lie about Kathleen. When they first got together his followers had questioned him and his beliefs. In many ways she was his opposite. They stopped questioning him directly when he and Kathleen were serious enough to kiss in the hallway.

He had many a time had to diminish his feelings for Kathleen to others to keep up his own appearances. Though he would love for her to join him and the Death Eaters he in no way planned on using any of his recruiting tactics on her. He had way too much respect for her. Even if he tried she was too smart to fall for it.

Once he was back at the orphanage he went straight up to the third floor pay phone, the phone with the most privacy, and dialed her number. It rang a few times before her brother answered, who then called for her. Moments later he could hear hurried footsteps approaching in the background.

"Hello?" her voice alone was enough to make the feeling in his stomach disappear.

"It's me." He said simply.

He could hear her let out a sigh before whispering at her brother to go away. "Mum was just trying to get me to watch one of her soaps with her."

"Soaps?"

"Those trashy muggle shows." She explained. "I think she wants us to bond."

"Ew."

"I know."

Tom leaned on the wall next to the phone, closing his eyes and doing his best to pretend she was standing in front of him instead of in her house almost an hour away. He'd seen her recently enough that his mental image of her was still clear. If he tried hard enough he could smell her perfume.

"Guess what?" she said suddenly, the excitement in her voice clear through the small speaker next to his ear.

"What?"

"I have a job interview tomorrow!"

A wide smile spread across his face and he did his best to picture the one she likely had on too. "That's amazing, Kath." He said. "What job is it?"

"Nothing exciting. It's for a muggle shop in the next town over." She told him. "But I didn't tell my parents so I'll be able to save up without them knowing."

"How will you explain going out every day?"

"I think I'll just sneak out of the house."

They spent the next few minutes calculating how long it would take to save up with both of their income and how much they had saved already. With Kathleen's job added to the income they could cut down the expected time by almost half. Excitement replaced the sick feeling he'd had when he dialed her number. He tried to imagine what kind of decorations they would have in their flat. The mere thought made him want to abandon planning and find someplace that day. But he knew Kathleen wanted to save.

A lull fell in the conversation and the only thing he could hear on the other line was her soft breathing. He knew her well enough that he could sense something in her mood over the phone without her even talking. "What are you thinking about?" he asked her.

"I just miss you." She answered after a moment of hesitation. I thought I would be able to handle the distance. And I can. It's just harder than I imagined."

He knew what she meant. Her absence wasn't unbearable but it was incredibly uncomfortable. When they were at school they more often than not found a way to spend the night with one another, or at least stayed out as late as possible. Tom had grown so accustomed to waking up next to a mane of red curls that his room at the orphanage was duller than ever without her color.

"Do you want me to come down and visit you?" he asked. Tom had more than once debated stopping by her house unexpectedly to say hello. But he didn't want to cause any sort of conflict with her parents.

She hummed quietly before speaking again. "Can I come to you?" she then asked. "I hardly ever get the chance to go to London. I want you to show me around the city."

He smiled to himself while he dug into his pocket and pulled a picture she ahd sent him out of his wallet. A picture didn't do her justice, which made sense since she had once told him that she hated being in front of the camera. He wondered if he should try and take her picture the next time he saw you. "I can come pick you up and then we can come in the city together."

"That sounds good."

Tom turned away from the door when he heard voices in the hallway. His demeanor in the orphanage was the opposite of how he was in school. He wanted to stay as under the radar as possible during the summer. Especially when he wasn't going to be there for much longer. He didn't want to get into trouble and risk getting kicked out. "What do you want to do?" he asked her, his voice dropping slightly in case someone was close enough to hear.

"How about you plan something and surprise me?" she suggested.

He smiled a bit wider. "Alright." He said. "When?"

"As soon as possible."

He thought for a moment, thinking over his work schedule. "How about Sunday?" he asked. "Or re you doing something with your family on Sunday?"

"Ha ha." She said sarcastically. "Sunday is fine. I wish it could be now."

"Maybe you should have tried to take the apparition test after all." He joked.

"You only say that because you did see how sick I got after the first lesson."

They talked long enough that he had to put more coins in the machine twice to continue the call. He only had six coins in his pocket so he knew as soon as he put the last two in that he'd have to make the following five minutes count. They both talked about their day as fast as they could, Tom leaving out his meeting with Lestrange and Avery all together. When a voice interrupted Kathleen to tell him that he only had two minutes left Tom felt his heart sink.

"Do you want me to call you later?" he asked her once he warned her that he only had a little bit longer to talk.

"If you want to." She said. "But don't waste your coins on me. I have a half-finished letter for you sitting on my desk that I'll send out before dinner."

"Don't be silly, it's not a waste. I'll call you later."

He heard her laugh quietly. "Yeah, alright." Kathleen fell quiet for a few seconds and he wondered, as he did often, what she was thinking. "I love you Tom." She said when she finally spoke again.

His smile twitched upwards. "I love you too, Kath." If he hadn't been sure that he was the closest to loving her as he could when they parted ways he knew for sure then. Her absence had settled inside him like a miniature black hole that grew bigger and bigger the longer she was gone from him. Hearing her voice made it a bit more bearable. "I'll see you on Sunday."

"Sunday." She repeated, her voice a bit softer than before.

They said goodbye once more before Tom hung up the phone. He lingered in the room for a moment before going down one floor and into his small bedroom. He went straight over to his desk and opened up the box where he kept all of the letters he had sent her.

In the early hours of the morning and the late hours of the night when he missed her the most it was the little things that made him feel better. The letters, her heart and soul poured out on paper and ink, made him feel the closest to her. His herbolody textbook, where he kept all the letters they had passed back and forth during class, was a close second. Bits and pieces of Kathleen were scattered across his belongings. He longed for a day when her essence made a permanent home in him.

* * *

if ya'll want me to continue this give me ideas for what I should do with this story please


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